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So I figured I'd keep you posted on things.... Sunday would be… - You are my everything... — LiveJournal [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Perfect Couples

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[Sep. 22nd, 2004|12:45 am]
Perfect Couples


So I figured I'd keep you posted on things....

Sunday would be Brenden and my's one year anniversary...

Would be.

If we weren't taking a "break"....What the hell is a break? I mean, really. What the hell....

He told me it wasn't my fault at all.... Or that he didn't want me to be sad- but he just needed some time to see if he's missing anything- or not.

And so... I'm talking to a boy. (have been talking to a boy for a while, because the boy is my friend.) A boy who is in band. And is very nice. And this "talking" shall remain innocent. Because 1- I still have boy-at-home... 2- I'm still in love with boy-at-home. 3- I'm not really boy-at-college's type.

: /

So. that's how life is right now. Kind of shitty. Kind of okay. I'm just trying to live my life like I know Brenden is.

Oh. yes. the 'talking' shall remain innocent unless! Brenden is dating some high school slut. But I won't know if he is or not, because he hasn't called in two days.

I feel like such a traitor when I talk to other boys....Because I feel like I shouldn't be... But, you know what? Brenden probably is talking to other girls, so what's wrong with me being a friend to a boy? I mean, really.

I'm a whore for talking to a boy so soon? I mean, it was Sunday when Brenden called it off. And really, I am only talking to him. It's not like we kiss and stuff. Because, actually, I've only talked to him face to face a couple of times. It's mostly online.

I don't know. I don't even know what a break is... I don't know what it entails. I don't know what the boundaries are. I don't know.

Any advice?

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[User Picture]From: candyhearts13
2004-09-22 11:57 am (UTC)
it does help. thanks!
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[User Picture]From: rachbee
2004-09-22 07:34 am (UTC)
You are being way too hard on yourself. Talking to other boys should definitely not make you feel bad. Especially if its innocent. I know that breaks are hard, but if its meant to be then its gonna work out.
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[User Picture]From: candyhearts13
2004-09-22 11:36 am (UTC)
I just hope he gets his shit together so I can sotp being sad. I mean, I talk to other guys mostly so I can keep my mind of Brenden. The guys I've been talking to? One, has been with his girlfriend for four years- and they went through a break.. .so I was asking about it. Two, is in band. And we're friends and that's it. That's all.
nothign more.

I shouldn't feel guilty about that. I shouldn't've felt guilty about hanging up pictures of Justin timberlake on my wall in my dorm when Brenden and I were together. I shouldn't've felt guilty about being friends with boys or thinking celebs were hot.. That can't be normal.

Im so tired of cryign and being sad.
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[User Picture]From: rachbee
2004-09-22 02:45 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry honey. I hope things work out for you soon.
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From: herfragility
2004-09-22 11:46 am (UTC)
well, in my personal opinion... when my ex and had I a "break" - I always thought we'd get back together, but the 4 or 5 months of "break", I did go on a few dates with other guys. I guess at first I also thought like maybe I shouldn't, but we were on break, so why not? And I didn't want to be in relationships with these guys anyway, it's just out for fun..

Unfortunately for me, 4 or 5 months after he told me about the "break" - he permanently dumped me. coughasscough. Ironically, he wanted me back three or so months after that. But by then I was dating my new boy, so he was too late.
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[User Picture]From: candyhearts13
2004-09-22 11:59 am (UTC)
That's what I'm afaid of.. but if it makes him happy... I can adapt I guess..... Stupid boys.
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